Not Even Crocodile Tears!

This poem is based on an imaginary story of a rich wicked lady who dies accidentally while trying to beat up her maid for bringing in the wrong food by mistake. The lady suffers from a croup which inhibits clear speech as a result of which the maid makes this mistake.

In this poem I have tried to illustrate how unfeeling one can make the people around by treating them ruthlessly. For instance, Caroline, the maid in this poem finds that she cannot even pretend that she is grieved by the death of her mistress. Such distress had the mistress caused her when she had lived that Caroline is actually relieved when she is killed. Furthermore, even Mr. Crimson though obviously faithful when his wife was alive, was so overjoyed that he even cries for joy! Even though he had loved Caroline from his very childhood, this meek little man had not had the courage.

This is a comedy whereby at the end Miss. Christ becomes Mrs. Crimson as Mr. Crimson takes her in marriage.

Mrs. Crimson was a cripple.

Just a cryptic cross-patch was she

Had no cronies, just her crofts!

Rich as Croesus, dry as crouton,

Cross-bred Crimson cross-eyed was too!

The croup she had did make her croak,

That she craved cream with crouton crumbs!

Creepy-crawly Caroline came

With creamy cruller-crust in cream.

Crotchety Crimson went all crimson!

Critical was the time as crucial;

With her crutch did Crimson crash.

Caroline cringed; the crone did crow.

The crook fell on the crampon there!

‘Oh, Christ!’ she cried, she crouched and died!

Not a single crocodile tear

Could Caroline Christ shed in grief.

Crouton crusts creamed her mind

The crunchy crusts she could crunch

And Mr. Crimson, oh so creamy!

Crimson’s husband Mr. Crimson

Only cried a cry of crew!

For he did crave to have Caroline

The crush of his time in the crib!

And so did Christ become Crimson!